HOW TO PLAN A SAME-SEX WEDDING CEREMONY YOUR GUESTS WILL LOVE
I still can’t quite believe it’s been over 12 years since I was a law student — eagerly handing in my essay on why Australia should legalise same-sex marriage — and the Federal Parliament passing a Bill to make this a reality.
As I watched the announcement on Sky News, I reflected on how fortunate I am to have gone from passionate student, to now being in a position where I can spend my days helping anyone excited to marry their best friend, & to plan their wedding day.
In response to this amazing news, I’d love to share with you 3 ways you can personalise your wedding ceremony.
“Reorienting your choices towards how you want to feel…is the simplest way to build a wedding ceremony that represents you.”
1. Set the tone with song selection.
Music is a beautiful way to invite your friends & fam to celebrate… your way. And when it comes to your wedding ceremony, there are 2 key songs you may want to spend a bit of extra time thinking about. These are the tunes that will be played during the processional (the moment you make your entrance) & the recessional (to mark the end of the ceremony).
So if you can, take a second to close your eyes. Can you picture your wedding ceremony? Who are you celebrating with? What’s the expression on your fiancé’s face when you turn to face them? How do you both feel? How would you love your friends & family to feel?
If, for instance, you can see yourself standing next to your partner with butterflies of excitement, the opening bars of Temper Trap’s, ‘Sweet Disposition’ could be an awesome way to showcase that emotion. Or, if you want something to mark the delicate sweetness of the moment, a string section playing something like The Cinematic Orchestra’s ‘To Build a Home’, could feel perfect.
Reorienting your choices towards how you want to feel — rather than giving in to the temptation of hitting up a ‘Top 10 Wedding Songs’ playlist on Pinterest — is the simplest way to craft a wedding ceremony that represents you.
“Hand-select any tradition that feels good, & set aside any that don’t.”
2. Pick & choose traditions that feel right for you both
You have a smorgasbord of wedding ceremony customs to choose from as you plan your big day. And, just like ceremony music, you have the ability to hand-select any tradition that feels good, & set aside any that don’t.
One of the most observed wedding customs involves the walk down the aisle. You & your fiancé have a beautiful opportunity to make this moment your own. You could wait at the altar with your officiant & guests, as your partner walks down the aisle. You could accompany one another down the aisle. Or, if you both love the idea of sharing the walk with a parent or close friend, you could design your ceremony layout to include two aisles which meet at the altar.
“Have a think about who would elevate this experience for you if they were a part of the ceremony.”
How you choose to make your entrance into the wedding ceremony, & the escort you have beside you, are decisions that go hand-in-hand. If you’re struggling with this aspect of your plans, have a think about who would elevate this experience for you if they were a part of the ceremony.
Who are the special people in both your lives? Who has been there for seminal moments in your relationship so far? Who will you feel a closer connection to if you share this with them? Answers to these kinds of questions could give you a greater sense of clarity.
“This truly is a chance for you to choose your own adventure.”
“I now pronounce you….” Those words at the end of the ceremony greenlight it’s time for you to seal-it-with-a-kiss & for your guests to kickstart the real celebrations! Have a chat with your officiant beforehand about how you want to be announced.
You could go with a broad approach like ‘the happy couple’; a play on tradition with ‘partners for life’ (instead of ‘husband & wife’); mark the significance of the moment with the single word, ‘married’; or create a new custom entirely. This truly is a chance for you to choose your own adventure.
3. Earmark the colour of your ensemble early on
This last tip is as much about how to personalise your wedding ceremony, as it is about sidestepping a styling-stress!
In the early stages of planning, have a chat with your partner about whether you’d love to shop for your dresses or suits together; or prefer to have a ‘big reveal’ on your wedding day. If you decide to go the surprise route, & you’d each love to be married in white, it’s a good idea to keep in mind that white has its own rainbow of shades to choose from.
An easy way to keep your dress design under wraps, & still find shades that complement each other, is to take fabric samples home. If that’s not an option, a wedding photographer shared with me this little workaround. Bring an unopened red Coca-Cola can to your next dress fitting. Take a quick pic of a panel of your wedding dress with the coke can in the centre of the frame. If your fiancé does the same, you have a great source for colour-comparison!
If you & your fiancé are each on the hunt for suits in the same colour — say a steel blue or a charcoal grey — you could apply these same style-saving tricks.
Thanks so much for being here. I hope you & your fiancé relish each opportunity to make this day a true reflection of you both. Here’s to an epic celebration of all that is, and all the beautiful things to come, for your relationship!
If you’d like any support along the way, feel free to head to my Services Page to check out the ways we can work together.
Until next time, happy planning!
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